Don't Put Forks in your Beer and Other Useful Tips

Somehow, I came across this video. It comes from environmental news and commentary website, Grist.org. I embed to it for two reasons:

1) It gives you helpful information for the removal of fruit from your bottle of beer.
2) It's so, so ridiculously cheesy and weird that I find it funny.



If you liked this, you'll be happy to know there's more where this came from.

Really, though, stop putting fruit in your beer. Seriously. Stop it.

The Science of Head

While not remarkable for the non-geek, two mathematicians (David J. Srolovitz and Robert D. MacPherson) have discovered the equation for how the bubbles in beer change over time. Of course, they weren't spending all their time and money on a solution to understanding beer foam, as this equation applies to metals as well.

Engineers and mathematicians will have a much easier time finding practical applications of this new knowledge when used in conjunction with metal rather than a delicious beverage. As Srolovitz says, "At the end of the day, I don't think it's going to revolutionize beer making. This is mathematics." And while I think that he underestimates the math that goes into beer making (brewers do make specific glassware that effect how the foam forms when their beers are poured), brewers know how their beer is going to react without the need for a formula to describe what is actually happening. They don't need the formula; but at least it's at their disposal. Apparently, "a boundary between two grains or bubbles moves at a velocity proportional to the boundary's curvature."

Unfortunately, math of this sort tends to exist in a vacuum, as this formula doesn't completely solve the beer foam conundrum "because it does not account for effects like gravity, which pulls liquid down the beer bubble walls until the walls are too thin and bubbles pop."

This problem has been solved in the second dimension for a while, but what makes this new discovery so fascinating is that it not only solves it for the third dimension, but for every other dimension after it. As quantum computers take off and our understanding of the multitudinous dimensions of our reality grows stronger, we can only pine for the first mathematically designed beer that relies on our experience of all 10 dimensions or however many there might be. I don't know how that couldn't be fantastic.

In Bubbles and Metal, the Art of Shape-Shifting