The Many Uses of Beer

In Tipp City, Ohio, a convenience store clerk was assaulted with a bottle of beer after the assailant had been told it was too late to purchase alcohol. Apparently, the man in question left the store for a while, came back with a bottle of beer and beat the clerk with it.

I don't understand. He doesn't have beer. He can't buy beer. And yet, when he gets a hold of a bottle of beer, he decides, not to drink it, but to travel back to the store and waste it by hitting someone in the head. But I think a most important question, one which the article doesn't address, is what beer was it? If I had to choose, I would guess a forty of Colt 45. It just seems so appropriate.

Police: Speedway Clerk Assaulted with Beer Bottle